love languages: friendship

A  while ago the Lord began showing me about His design for friendship which lead me to search for tools that could be used in friendship to strengthen and encourage one another better. One of the tools I found is The Five Love Languages-but that didn't exactly work as it was designed more for couples. It was more romantically based. So I did some further digging and was lead to The Five Love Languages of Singles. I believe the following excerpt is a wonderful tool for us all to use to discover our FRIENDSHIP love language. Keep that in mind as you are going through the questions. You are doing this from a friendship point of view, NOT from a romantic dating/engaged/married relationship point.

*answer the questions you can for friendship. some are more geared towards a romantical relationship, yet i think you can still get a good idea of your FRIENDSHIP love language(s) by doing this. And if you haven't taken this to discover your (romantical) Love language then i STRONGLY encourage you to do that as well. It is a HUGE tool to know yours and your spouses love language. Saves you from wasted time. You can be more effective in communicating love in their language.

I have enclosed my results at the end. And I  so very much want to learn yours because i think we have a responsibility to know ours and to know the other person's. Think about it, by knowing your love language you are helping that person best communicate with you, and then when you know theirs you can best comunicate to them in a way they best 'get'. and then there is another aspect!  if i know your love language is say, Words of Affirmation, then i'm going to notice that a lot more when you do it! I'm going to receive that as a great gift from you!

do you get it?! does it excite you?!

Enjoy!!!

 

Take the profile when you are relaxed and not pressed for time. After you've made your selections, go back and count the number of times you chose each letter. List the results in the appropriate spaces at the end of the profile. Then read "Interpreting and Using Your Profile Score," which follows the profile. 

{redo this from time to time too as it can change}

1. I like to receive notes of affirmation. A

I like to be hugged. E

2. I like to spend one-to-one time with a person who is special to me. B

I feel loved when someone gives practical help to me. D

3. I like it when people give me gifts. C

I like leisurely visits with friends and loved ones. B

4. I feel loved when people do things to help me. D

I feel loved when people touch me. E

5. I feel loved when someone I love or admire puts his or her arm around me. E

I feel loved when I receive a gift from someone I love or admire. C

6. I like to go places with friends and loved ones. B

I like to high-five or hold hands with people who are special to me. E

7. Visible symbols of love (gifts) are very important to me. C

I feel loved when people affirm me. A

8. I like to sit close to people whom I enjoy being around. E

I like for people to tell me I am attractive/handsome. A

9. I like to spend time with friends and loved ones. B

I like to receive little gifts from friends and loved ones. C

10. Words of acceptance are important to me. A

I know someone loves me when he or she helps me. D

11. I like being together and doing things with friends and loved ones. B

I like it when kind words are spoken to me. A

12. What someone does affects me more than what he or she says. D

Hugs make me feel connected and valued. E

13. I value praise and try to avoid criticism. A

Several small gifts mean more to me than one large gift. C

14. I feel close to someone when we are talking or doing something together. B

I feel closer to friends and loved ones when they touch me often. E

15. I like for people to compliment my achievements. A

I know people love me when they do things for me that they don't enjoy doing. D

16. I like to be touched as friends and loved ones walk by. E

I like it when people listen to me and show genuine interest in what I am saying. B

17. I feel loved when friends and loved ones help me with jobs or projects. D

I really enjoy receiving gifts from friends and loved ones. C

18. I like for people to compliment my appearance. A

I feel loved when people take time to understand my feelings. B

19. I feel secure when a special person is touching me. E

Acts of service make me feel loved. D

20. I appreciate the many things that special people do for me. D

I like receiving gifts that special people make for me. C

21. I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone gives me undivided attention. B

I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone does some act of service for me. D

22. I feel loved when a person celebrates my birthday with a gift. C

I feel loved when a person celebrates my birthday with meaningful words. A

23. I know a person is thinking of me when he or she gives me a gift. C

I feel loved when a person helps with my chores. D

24. I appreciate it when someone listens patiently and doesn't interrupt me. B

I appreciate it when someone remembers special days with a gift. C

25. I like knowing loved ones are concerned enough to help with my daily tasks. D

I enjoy extended trips with someone who is special to me. B

26. I enjoy kissing or being kissed by people with whom I am close. E

Receiving a gift for no special reason excites me. C

27. I like to be told that I am appreciated. A

I like for a person to look at me when we are talking. B

28. Gifts from a friend or loved one are always special to me. C

I feel good when a friend or loved one touches me. E

29. I feel loved when a person enthusiastically does some task I have requested. D

I feel loved when I am told how much I am appreciated. A

30. I need to be touched every day. E

I need words of affirmation daily. A

 

TOTALS: A:____ B:_____ C:_____ D:_____ E:_____

A. Words of Affirmation B. Quality Time C. Receiving Gifts  D. Acts of Service E. Physical Touch

INTERPRETING AND USING YOUR PROFILE SCORE

Which love language received the highest score? This is your primary love language. If point totals for two love languages are equal, you are "bilingual" and have two primary love languages. And, if you have a secondary love language, or one that is close in score to your primary love language, this means that both expressions of love are important to you. The highest possible score for any one love language is twelve.

Although you may have scored certain ones of the love languages more highly than others, try not to disregard those other languages as unimportant. Your friends and loved ones may express love in those ways, and it will pay you to understand this about them. In the same way, it will benefit your friends and loved ones to know your love language and express their affection for you in ways that you interpret as love. Every time you or they speak one another's language, you score emotional points with one another. Of course, no one is keeping a score sheet. The result of speaking a person's love language is more a feeling of "this person understands me and cares for me." Over time, this feeling multiplies into a stronger sense of connectedness.

Just as identifying and speaking a person's love language strengthens a relationship, not doing this can leave a friend or loved one feeling as if you do not love him or her. When people do not convey love in a way that is perceived as love, their efforts, though sincere, are somewhat wasted. This can be frustrating for both the giver of love and the intended recipient. You may have unknowingly been guilty of speaking a "foreign" love language in the past to someone you loved. Understanding the concept of love languages can help you know how to effectively express your feelings so that they are received and interpreted as you mean them to be.

If they've not already done so, encourage the special people in your life to take "The Five Love Languages Profile." Then discuss your respective love languages and use this insight to improve your relationships.

* taken from The Five Love Languages for Singles by Gary Chapman; pages 242-245

My results: (FRIENDSHIP)

TOTALS: A:__3__ B:__8__ C:__10___ D:__5___ E:__3___

*Also, something else my dear friend and i have noticed is that if you watch what YOU do in a friendship, like for instance i like to give little gifts and i started noticing how often i do that and how 'receiving gifts' is one of my friendship love languages. so all that to say, watch what YOU frequently do for your friends and more often then not, that is probably your love language! The same is true for those you are in friendship WITH. watch what they do for you and that is probably their love language :) and once you know your language and their languages, you can then recognize when someone is speaking love to you even if it isn't your love language. for example, my friend rearranges her schedule to spend time with me that night. i know quality time is her love language. it isn't mine, yet i know she is speaking love to me in her language. it's something else to witness!