be careful what you wish for...

cuz you might just get it...

2 months. 2 months that i have been out of work now. the good news is that i have been hired on to another home health company. bad news- i'm still without clients which means i'm essentially NOT working.

back to the title of this post;
where has this year gone. definitely did not think i would get married this year or even meet someone! i did though:) my whole world became wedding and preparing for marriage. then we were married, honeymooned and spit right back out into the world. back to work WITH a new hour commute each way. after 2 months of this i was burned out. done. yet i couldn't quit this job. one of us being out of work was more than enough. and i had committed to my lady, in my heart, that i would stay with her to the end.

well, i thought the end would be her passing away as is usually the case in caring for the elderly. i was shocked yet felt it coming when i got word that i had a week of employment left. i really believe it was God hearing my heart and moving me out of that draining situation. (as awful as i feel about that being the case)

so, fast forward 2 months and here we are. prior to sept 18 (last day of work) i longed for 'empty' days, to be at home and enjoy our new apartment and decorate it! i had all these 'things' i would do if i had the time. well, i've had the time. i got what i -thought i- wanted and i have done nothing. i have this 'image' in my mind of what a successful day would look like. i desire to be that person! yet, i stay up late, sleep in, MAYBE shower and dress for the day. rarely go out. i've been here before, having an open schedule is not good for me. i need structure and routine. makes me wonder how i will ever be a stay-at-home mom some day...

i'm lazy. this is madness. Lord please bring me clients and quick.

thank you for listening.