Twas feeling off today and fighting to not be ruled by my feelings.
then i read this post of a dear sister of my heart!
ENCOURAGED with teary eyes as i read this thinking YES! YES! YES! remembering and recognizing anew the work He has done in me.
Psalm 37:4- He has truly given me HIS desires (not the common, faulty use of this verse that He will give you WHAT you desire). He has done this and is doing this for me.
Conception/pregnancy/birth. While it is something i am passionate about and would welcome, it is not a need! and contrary to others thinking, i am not consumed by it or lacking without it. I am surrendered to Him. It's not about the outcome of that surrender in terms of the number of children. It's the actual surrendering and all that is done in and through us in the surrendering!
I trust Him. And truly want what He wants MORE than what i want.
I have gotten frustrated before in regards to the 'scarlet letter' of sorts that appears to be our not having conceived (as far as we know). Over the years i have moved from being snarky about this when asked to seeing it as the opportunity it is to educate and testify of our Lord. I can remember not knowing what to say and feeling i was never quick enough with the responses (came up with some good ones while driving away though ;). Now I am equipped (2 Tim 3:16-17) and ready to go there with people when they ask. My frustration these days has been when that person doesn't listen! Completely misses what i just said! As well as feeling like people are missing "the forest for the trees" as the saying goes. That they do not see past this scarlet letter that they impose on us. That they are missing all our Lord is doing in my life. That they think conception is my biggest burden.
It's not. Nope. My Lord and i have a sweet relationship in regards to conception and i am glad i can go to Him every cycle and He knows.
Beyond that though, are my very REAL struggles and burdens. What i am consumed by daily? Our marriage. My sin of anger/pride. Learning to be a wife and love my husbend as unto the Lord which leads into my other very real burden of what i am to be doing-witnessing/discipleship-for the Lord!
Knowing i will encounter people daily as i go about life and the opportunity/responsibility therein to speak of Christ to them! The gift of salvation! It's sooooo wrecking me!
As i vented this 'frustration' to the Lord... i came away from it aware that this scarlet letter keeps people watching. It's a platform and provides many opportunities to testify!
so, i will utilize this 'scarlet letter' and all the opportunity it provides, for His glory!
thank you Lord.
then i read this post of a dear sister of my heart!
ENCOURAGED with teary eyes as i read this thinking YES! YES! YES! remembering and recognizing anew the work He has done in me.
Psalm 37:4- He has truly given me HIS desires (not the common, faulty use of this verse that He will give you WHAT you desire). He has done this and is doing this for me.
Conception/pregnancy/birth. While it is something i am passionate about and would welcome, it is not a need! and contrary to others thinking, i am not consumed by it or lacking without it. I am surrendered to Him. It's not about the outcome of that surrender in terms of the number of children. It's the actual surrendering and all that is done in and through us in the surrendering!
I trust Him. And truly want what He wants MORE than what i want.
I have gotten frustrated before in regards to the 'scarlet letter' of sorts that appears to be our not having conceived (as far as we know). Over the years i have moved from being snarky about this when asked to seeing it as the opportunity it is to educate and testify of our Lord. I can remember not knowing what to say and feeling i was never quick enough with the responses (came up with some good ones while driving away though ;). Now I am equipped (2 Tim 3:16-17) and ready to go there with people when they ask. My frustration these days has been when that person doesn't listen! Completely misses what i just said! As well as feeling like people are missing "the forest for the trees" as the saying goes. That they do not see past this scarlet letter that they impose on us. That they are missing all our Lord is doing in my life. That they think conception is my biggest burden.
It's not. Nope. My Lord and i have a sweet relationship in regards to conception and i am glad i can go to Him every cycle and He knows.
Beyond that though, are my very REAL struggles and burdens. What i am consumed by daily? Our marriage. My sin of anger/pride. Learning to be a wife and love my husbend as unto the Lord which leads into my other very real burden of what i am to be doing-witnessing/discipleship-for the Lord!
Knowing i will encounter people daily as i go about life and the opportunity/responsibility therein to speak of Christ to them! The gift of salvation! It's sooooo wrecking me!
As i vented this 'frustration' to the Lord... i came away from it aware that this scarlet letter keeps people watching. It's a platform and provides many opportunities to testify!
so, i will utilize this 'scarlet letter' and all the opportunity it provides, for His glory!
thank you Lord.
I LOVE your scarlet letter! I've been thinking about this so much for the last couple of weeks- how God gives us all our own Gospel audience, and it's so unique and perfect for us and the people we are sharing it with! How special and a gift it is to have your story that speaks into the lives of those God places around you! It's what God has called you to, and no doubt there is a reason for it- for both you and for them. :D LOVE it!
ReplyDeleteMy parents were married 11 years before I was born - their first
ReplyDeleteappreciate you so.
ReplyDelete