fighting

On the intake form at the chiropractor, under "what causes stress in your life?" Jeremiah writes "my marriage"

the gal reviewing his form comments that she can feel a tension between us.

:exhale:

i want to scream. and cry. i feel discouraged at this moment and yet glad. discouraged as i/we are working and making changes and apparently they aren't showing as much as the ugly is. 
glad that it's not a secret as i'm not trying to fake it.

 i testified to [her] how i am realizing my depravity and need for a Savior. Aware of sin and it's affects/tendencies, how our Lord is showing me in His ALL SUFFICIENT Word what i am to be doing AND not doing as a wife. she proceeded to recommend a book that has scripture in it... :face palm: 

here i/we are sharing this reality with you all. that we are FINALLY fighting for our marriage-for GOD'S MARRIAGE-He's the designer! it's not enough to just not divorce. that is NOT His standard! nor is what we have been living the past 4 years.

 i have/am realizing my depravity like never before
our Lord has shown me MUCH regarding marriage and his design via scripture. 
 he is MESSING ME UP!!! {thank you Lord}

so as i/we go about dieing to self/sin. learning/starting now, at the end of our 4th year of marriage we forthcomingly share this for ultimately His glory (please Lord), for others who are struggling and in need of a Savior, and for my own accountability.

as we enter into marriage for what i say is the first time, as all He is showing me denotes that i hadn't a clue before...
as i fight FOR marriage, not against it, as HE designed it.

My sisters in the Lord, would you come alongside me in this as I walk in forgiveness, in agreeance to our Lord's standard and design for marriage, applying all He has said? or if you find yourself in a similar season, i welcome your company and accountability! 
                                   i challenge us ALL in this way.


area's of accountability for me (Luann):
*anger
*yelling
*critical/pride
*honor Jeremiah
*sexual intimacy
*respect
*forgiveness
*selfish

area's of need/want for us:
*friendship of like minded couples
*a mentor couple