“Lord, I give up my own plans and purposes, all my own desires, hopes, and ambitions, and I accept Thy will for my life. I give up myself, my life, my all, utterly to Thee, to be Thine forever. I hand over to Thy keeping all of my friendships; all the people whom I love are to take second place in my heart. Fill me now and seal me with Thy Spirit. Work out Thy whole will in my life at any cost, for me to live is Christ. Amen.” A prayer by Betty Stam
THIS people. this is where i am!
try as i might, there still is much confusion regarding Jer and i and our fostering journey.
from the beginning i/we have communicated that we were stepping out in obedience.
it was never about some end goal (certification, 'getting' kids).
it was about each and every day. every interaction/opportunity to testify and educate.
denying self and being willing to be used as He would have.
denying self and being willing to be used as He would have.
in so doing we have been quite taken aback by responses from the church.
there is no need to be 'sorry' (we aren't!) that it "didn't work out for us" WHAT?! success is not defined by being certified!
references to God having a plan for us. excited for him to reveal them.
as though this outcome isn't His plan? and we aren't currently in the midst of it!?
1 Cor 15:58 NOT IN VAIN!
and for good measure i restate the following;
*our lives are not on hold until we conceive
*we are surrendered to the Lord in all areas including our family size
*we are not incomplete because we haven't conceived
*we acknowledge that we may never have new life breathed into my womb
*we also acknowledge that until the day i die, new life can be breathed into my womb
*nothing is 'wrong' with me because i haven't conceived
*we also acknowledge that until the day i die, new life can be breathed into my womb
*nothing is 'wrong' with me because i haven't conceived
*fostering was never about filling any 'void' from not having conceived (couldn't be farther from the truth seeing as how fostering is about the family reuniting. not us keeping their child.)
and
* to the frequent, "why don't you go through/you should go through a christian agency." i ask, why? i'm not following the thinking on this one and i'm curious of the thought process behind this one, so please share.
my biggest struggle/trial isn't not having conceived (as far as we know). it's my anger/pride/impatience/tongue. namely towards my husbend.
and
* to the frequent, "why don't you go through/you should go through a christian agency." i ask, why? i'm not following the thinking on this one and i'm curious of the thought process behind this one, so please share.
my biggest struggle/trial isn't not having conceived (as far as we know). it's my anger/pride/impatience/tongue. namely towards my husbend.
would i like to be with child and birth said child? yes, very much so.
do i NEED to? to be healthy and live and serve our Lord?
nope.
do i NEED to? to be healthy and live and serve our Lord?
nope.
He is the Rock, his works are perfect,
and all his ways are just.
A faithful God who does no wrong,
upright and just is he. Deuteronomy 32:4
and all his ways are just.
A faithful God who does no wrong,
upright and just is he. Deuteronomy 32:4
I had to come to some of those very same conclusions when we dealt with secondary infertility. And now look at us... four kids running around! God will work His will in you in His perfect timing!
ReplyDeleteagain, "God will work His will in you in His perfect timing!" this reads like He isn't currently doing so, which i balk at.
DeleteI'm so glad you mention that his will is not a set direction and that by him not "giving" you something therefore means his will is incomplete. His will is being completed every second of the day. Thank you for standing firm in his love. After all "There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear." (1 John 4:18a).
ReplyDelete